Once again I find myself stuck at the same place I was five months ago.Where I felt despair kicking me hard,like a fraud in my own life.Feelings of unworthiness clouding my judgement.The anxiety takes over my body.I am scared of things I hope will never happen to me.And scared again that if they don’t,I will keep feeling this way much longer.If those mandatory changes of deprivation don’t take place then I would never have reason to change.But change is something for which I crave.I need it.I am turning 23 in five days.I have got to claim my life,own my independence.

I want to be denied that which is handed to me freely.For once,I want to work hard to earn something.I need that push out of the nest.It’s the only way I will know how to fly.I need that push,to finding my mojo.